Random Thoughts...

Dennis Ciptanica Putra is dead meat!!!!

I was facebook hopping just now and I ended up at frogy's profile. I haven't been to his profile since I first added him as a friend on facebook. He's still with the girl he left me for so they've been together for 3 plus years already? and they're still madly in love. It still stings a little. Don't get me wrong, looking back at our relationship, it was all wrong. We are such different people and we want such different things. Although, I still have the utmost respect for him, he's a good person. Like my grandma said, "your first will always have a special place in your heart".

For all of you who haven't RSVP-ed to my birthday, DO IT NOW!!! Please.

Do not date THIS guy

By Flora McCraith, MSN, Updated: 22/10/2009

Mr Tin Heart

The emotionally unavailable man has been the pitfall of many single women. Yet, he's the easiest of the species to spot. So why do we get ourselves into such a mess with him when we usually know early on that it would sooner snow in Malaysia before you can get him to commit?

“These women really believe that they can change a man's mind about being with them, or they simply make themselves believe they can, because they feel like they have no other choice,” explains Sally Reeves* a relationship counselor.

There's usually a reason why these men can't commit. Your job isn't to figure out why that reason has come to be, but instead, if it's a reason that's actually good enough for you. If it is, then may be you need to look at yourself and ask "why don't I find somebody who is ready for commitment?" says Susan Jeffers, author of 'Opening Our Hearts To Men.'

#1 Playa

He's the perfect lover, makes you feel like you're the queen of his world and that he's perched you high above a pedestal away from any other woman in his sight. He's well-dressed, charming, witty, funny, and his manners are impeccable. He's out to make an impact on the women he makes, and he'll definitely make that impact on you...and every other woman that tickles his fancy.

Every woman will come across at least one of this kind in her lifetime, and while the charm and attention may be extremely flattering, don't be fooled. You know you'll be nursing a broken heart when he gets bored.

Mr Mummy

In Western cultures, any 20something year old man still living under his parent's roof would (almost literally) be laughed out of house and home. While the same concept cannot be applied here in Asia, it's not hard to spot a mummy's boy.

The signs aren't even subtle. He's always going to choose is mum (or aunt or sister) over you. And while there may be times he's hesitant about making that decision, make no mistake, the end outcome will always be the same: Mum 1 - You 0.

What's worse, when things don't work out, he'll believe that the issues lay with you not trying hard enough to get along with his family.

Tan Sri Lambat (a.k.a. Sir Late-A-Lot)

Let's be honest here: the concept of 'Malaysian timing' is just an all too common excuse for us to be late. But the fact that we know there's going to be traffic, yet make no allowances for it, just says that we're being disrespectful. Same goes for a guy. If he knows he's made an appointment to meet you at a certain time, yet can't be bothered to plan around that accordingly, he's pretty much saying, "I'm unreliable, disorganised and I don't really respect your time."

“Every time you break a time promise there is a consequence and you are sending a subtle message to the person you stood up that they are less important than you or whatever you were doing” Karen Kawalec*, a behavioral specialist and counsellor from the UK. "Do this enough, and you’ll strain the relationship you have with this person for the long term. It also says that you aren’t responsible, reliable, or maybe even sincere and honest.”

Mr Office-Is-My-Home

We applaud men with ambition. We applaud their dreams and aspirations and seriously, that go-getter attitude is sexy! But there's a time and place for everyone, and no job needs to be worked at all day, every day.

On the plus side, the workaholic is always well-dressed with impeccable manners and an admirable knowledge of many things. He knows how to make you feel like a real lady. On the other hand, dinner dates (if they hadn't already been cancelled) will usually turn into a solo affair, with you picking at the food while he screams down the phone about some deal or the other.

However, we're not going to relegate all workaholics to the no-fly zone of dead beat men. You'll have to exercise some discretion, and patience, to sort through the ones you can deal with and the absolute no-hopers.

Mr Whiny

This guy's self-esteem has fallen so low, it's almost made friends with the Hobbits of middle Earth. But, he doesn't think it's his fault; it's always someone else's.

Maira*, a psychologist of 10 years says, “as an adult, pity becomes a burden. It's almost endearing for a child to be sucking its thumb and clutching a blanket. For an adult, well... you're not going win a whole lot of admiration among your peers! Pity disconnects you. It disconnects you from yourself, from other people, from your world, and from your won control.”

His constant belief that he is the victim means he's always seeking attention and becomes distressed when he feels he isn't getting what he needs. While some women's overpowering maternal instinct draws them to men like this, eventually, they will get tiring.

Mr Quick Trick

Admittedly, everyone lies. But, this lying leech has an excuse for e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.

At the start of you relationship, the fibs were subtle. You knew there was something not quite right about his explanation but he backed it up with something solid, so you let him get away with it. But, the more he gets away with, the bigger his lies get.

"It's like he couldn't help himself and was addicted to lying!" says Shauna* of her ex. "I used to believe him at first because they were just little things, but eventually, they became so frequent, and sometimes were even so ridiculous I actually felt embarrased for him!"

The Ex Texter

There's nothing wrong with being friends and keeping in touch with your ex, but too much contact can prove detrimental to future relationships.

“When you continue an emotional relationship with someone instead of letting go, you will usually have subconscious feelings for them or realise that the feelings never went away, which can be damaging to new or potential relationships,” Sally* says. “But, you get a rush from doing it and from hearing back, and it's naughty, yet safe in its own right."

The Game Boy

Nothing wrong with a man and his game console...unless he chooses it over you.

“In the broad sense, it’s (consoles) a substitute for social interaction, or just another outlet” explains Ken Lee*, who works in a computer games outlet. “Computer games represent an individual challenge for men and can be a way of relaxing.”

In a way, gaming to men is what shopping is to women - therapy. But, that doesn't mean we shop all the time. The absolute danger sign ladies, is when he calls in sick at work because (a) he didn't sleep the night before battling zombies or (b) he needs the day to advance to the next level. When that happens, either 'accidentally' trip and spill a mug of hot tea over the console, or, if you fear that may endanger your life lest he rage at you, just leave his keys by the door and leave. You'll be better of for doing it.

My own additions to the list:

-The Addict (drugs, alcohol, smoking, etc..)

-The Perve (ew!)

Unfortunately that rules out 90% of the male species and absolutely every single boy I know!

Just Kidnap My Boyfriend Already!

Tips on how to break-up with your boyfriend

By Flora McCraith, MSN, Updated: 30/10/2009

Ex-Factor

Get in touch with your past boyfriends and get them to come to as many social events that you can think of. With you.

When you run into an old flame at a bar or club, run up to them, fling your arms around his neck, hold his hips against yours and shriek “Oh my God, oh my God, it’s so good to see you! My, don’t you look good.”

Alternatively, join a mixed gender sports team and get your flock of exes and your current soon-to-be-put-out-flame to be on your team. For kicks and giggles, start off the practice with “What’s one thing we all have in common?”

Email error

Sending a text or an email to someone by mistake happens to people a lot, so here is a little gem that will take the ‘dumping’ issue out of your hands.

Pretend that you have been on a date with a guy. Send a ‘thank you for a really great evening last night email’ accidentally to your boyfriend.

He will think you’re cheating, thus starting a colossal row and it will result in him doing your dirty work for you. Voila, it’s as easy as hitting ‘send.’

Shed a few tears

Not many men know what to do when a girl cries and some just get in a complete fluster about it.

Use this to your advantage and cry after sex. In fact, better yet, cry during sex. Blame it on your emotions and the fact that your feelings towards him are totally overwhelming and that you “wuv him very much.” You could then even ask him whether he has any "personal feelings concerning the relationship.”

The baby talk and the crying will have him re-addressing your relationship status in no time.

Me, myself and I

Make sure that everything is about you. Therefore take as long as you like doing your make-up and getting ready, even if he is sitting in the car waiting to take you out for dinner with his boss.

Or, if you really don’t give two hoots, you could be the first woman in history to tell her partner how many men she has actually been intimate with.

You could even go as far as informing him that oral sex makes you gag. With the exception of when he does it, of course. Or fall asleep during sex. Woman find this to be a subtle, yet direct way of suggesting dissatisfaction.

His opinion counts… for not a lot

The trick here is to ask for his opinion but to never actually agree on his advice. For example, you can’t decide what to do for dinner. He suggests takeaway, so you decided eating out; he prefers the red shoes, you go for the black. He says right, you turn left.

The idea here is that he will very quickly see that his opinion doesn’t mean that much to you. You could turn the tension up a notch by getting a drastic hair change and then explain “that you have been thinking about it for a while and the delivery guy at work thought you would look hot with short hair.”

In other words, you would rather take the opinion of a complete stranger than ask his advice.

Are you seeing fireworks yet? We think so!

Adolescent vocab

Shower your daily conversations with as many modern but pre-teen acronyms as you can possibly bear to stand. You actually may LOL (laugh out loud) when you actually find out how much fun this can be in the sense that it is exceptionally irritating for everyone else, and thus your boyfriend.

“OMG babe! You, like, totally need to take a shower.”

*Poof* As if by magic, he’s gone.

Release your inner child

Having the mother of all tantrums every so often is a sure fire way to make your man run for cover, and hopefully out of the door!

Childish, brattish and insolent behavior isn’t liked by anyone and the only people who can get away with it are children, and even then, they are walking a fine line in our books.

Your man will probably look into the future and see these foot stamping sessions as a sign of things to come and bail on you quicker than you can scream or whine “But it’s not fair. Why can’t I have one of those?”, while you still continue to hold the view that ‘men are babies.’

Social butterfly

There is nothing wrong with a bit of networking and social climbing, so spread your wings and become a social butterfly. Why not become the face of Facebook? Which guy wouldn’t want to go out with the most popular girl on one of the Internet’s most popular social websites? Well, hopefully your boyfriend(s) when he finds out.

Send and receive, poke and pester as many people as possible and within no time at all, you will have more friends than Malaysia has people.

Next step, update your status and profile as frequently as you get stuck in a Malaysia jam with things like ‘night out with the girls,’ ‘at the gym,’ or ‘hoping my man never awakes from his afternoon nap.’

He will soon get the message.

Nag

Nag. Nag. Nag.

And nag some more. You will eventually wear him down.

Some helpful parting lines.

“My feelings for you are too strong.” This is an ingenious way of saying goodbye to your man with a whopping ego.

“Let’s get hitched.” Men and domestication don’t often go hand-in-hand so fingers crossed, he will bow out benevolently.

“I need space.” This hints that it is temporary. Of course, you know differently.

B.S excuses and their translations

Why not take some tips from others and use the following lines to ditch your man.

“It’s not you, it’s me” in your mind means: I’m fine, but you’re a royal pain in the backside.

“We are different stages of our lives” in your mind means: You’re beneath me.

“I want to concentrate on my work right now” in your mind means: I want to concentrate on the hot office guy right now.

“My feelings scare me” in your mind means: My feelings are actually nonexistent.

Some of it is quite funny and all of it is really stupid! How about just saying, "I want to break-up with you?". It's the simplest, cleanest, most honest way to do it. I don't even have a boyfriend yet and I'm looking at ways to break up with one :s